home_and_away | The Hermit

...it's odd. All the advice I'm getting recently is "Take some time for yourself. Hole up for a while, become a little more whole before you try to keep anyone else together." And I'd like to, you know? It'd be nice.

But it's not going to happen anytime soon.

And that's a slightly claustrophobic thing to realise.

So I get to figure out how to build my hiding-cave inside my own skin instead of relying on a physical place...~flinch~
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Also odd--I spend the bulk of a night wishing there were someone I could hand my son to who could ease whatever's bothering him so he could stop howling, then when his grandmother volunteers for a bit of babysitting and he's away from me, I miss him. He's the subject of most of my waking thoughts and a few of my dreams, he's all I find myself talking about, and he's barely old enough to tell the difference between me and any other female who's holding him. I thought I was getting my Self back when he was no longer a tenant of my skin...God was I wrong.

Anyone have any theories on how long this lasts?
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In other news, watching the Behind the Scenes documentaries on the Fellowship of the Ring and Two Towers DVDs has spawned a new curiosity--the art of John Howe and Alan Lee.

Mr. Howe's webhome, I've found: http://www.john-howe.com .
I love the way he strings a sentance together more than I enjoy his art, and his art is *most* enjoyable... Yay, Canadians.

Still looking for Mr. Lee....