home_and_away | Just Sick Enough to be Totally Confident

Abridged version of the conversation that made my evening a little brighter:

Me: Dr. Pepper's not to drink straight, either. It makes a decent marinade when mixed with A-1 and lemon juice. A mean float when mixed with vanilla ice-cream. It'll get you good and fuzzy, mixed with whiskey. But don't use the expensive stuff, because that's a horrible thing to do to good whiskey. Get the cheap shyte that comes in plastic gallon bottles with the screw-off lids.

Tom: Oh, like the cheapass vodka they use to sterilise cat nipples?
....~dead silence~
Me and Kim: Cat. Nipples. ?
T: Or baby bottle nipples, or, y'know, piercings?
me: To sterilise. Cat. Nipples. ... Baby, how d'you get it to stay still long enough to do that?
K: And what're you gonna do with it after?
T: No, really, that's...
me: Cat nipples. How'd you pick that brand o' vodka?
T: There's a story here! It's not what you guys're thinking!
me: Nono. Stop talking--I've got to get this down...