E-mail from my mother.

[home_and_away]

>The Fairytale we should've been telling our daughters all along:
>
>
> Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent,
>self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating
>ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow
>near her castle.
>
> The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: Elegant Lady,
>
> "I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
>One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young
>prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping
>in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my
>clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."
>
> That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sautéed frog
>legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and
>thought to herself: 'I don't f**king think so.'
>

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

that's awesome. I love it.
Madonna

What he should've said...

[grim-thing.livejournal.com]

One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and I will toil away at a job I hate, for employers who don't appreciate me whilst thou sit at home on thine ass and eat ho-ho's and watch Oprah and commiserate with thy lady friends and complain that you wish you'd married the tailor's son because at least that way you wouldn't have to fulfill your `wifely duties' as he's as gay as a fruit and at least you'd always be arrayed in the most splendid of clothes, and... well...

On second thought, trying to hook up with a hateful bitch like you is what got me to the state I'm in to begin with. Thanks anyways, I think I'd rather live out the rest of my life as a frog.

And with that, he hopped away.

Re: What he should've said...

[(Anonymous)]

You know, I was going to call you a pig here but I decided against it and am going with Male chauvinstic warthog. Well I love you and I'm going to snuggle up with you and act like you never said any of the above because I live in a dream world where all men are perfect....I am kidding of course, you're perfect to me but I'm still mad at you for writing that crap.

Your Wife

Okay, I'm a dick...

[grim-thing.livejournal.com]

Better frog joke...

An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to
him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog
spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer
took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the
pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back
into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again
the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into
his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told
you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for a week
and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said,
"Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a
talking frog, now that's cool."

:D LOL!

[ladywind.livejournal.com]

~jeans-and-teeshirt-clad chick with slightly tattered dragonfly wings unclips magic wand from the collar of her shirt and, with bright smile, touches the tip of said wand to this joke.~

Congratulations, man; your Faerie Godsister has officially deemed this joke beyond all reproach. ;D

got any more engineer jokes in your pocket?

Engineer Jokes

[grim-thing.livejournal.com]

I found these here (http://www.geekculture.com/ultimatebb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=13;t=001087). They're on the "Joy of Tech" forums.

Lot of good stuff in there.